I don't WANT to be a legendary!
by darkraiauthor
Summary: When Horei refuses to become a legendary, she has to run away. Buuuut Arceus isn't gonna let her get away that easily. Poooor Horei. Shouldn't have really any bad words.... I think..
1. Run, run, run

I couldn't hide much longer. My breath was coming in ragged pants, I was exhausted. I could only think of one thing to do.

"Hey Cresselia!" I cried. She came zooming over. I smirked.

"DARKRAI AND CRESSELIA STIING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRIGE, THEN COMES A BABY IN A BABY CARRIGE! DARKRAI AND CRESSELIA SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G," I chanted at the top of my lungs repeatedly.

"WHY YOU LITTLE-!" she cried, zooming towards me as if she was going to headbutt me. One second before she could hit me, I moved to the right, thus ending in her slamming into the wall and getting knocked out. I smiled and ran away. How the hell did I get involved in getting the lunars to chase me again?

_WHAT IN THE HOLY NAME OF HO-OH! I cried. YOU WANT ME TO BE A LEGENDARY?_

_Arceus nodded. **Yes, actually you will be reborn as, well, Ho-Oh. **_

_Will I still have my memories? I asked._

_**UM.......** mumbled Palkia. **YES......**_

_I raised my eyebrows. Look me in the eyes and tell me, I said, putting my hands on my hips._

_**UM....... **he looked into my eyes, then looked away. **OKAY YOU WON'T, NOW STOP STARING AT ME!**_

_I crossed my arms. Arceus-sama, I respectfully decline. Unless Neji pops out of nowhere and tells me that it is my 'destiny' to be a legendary or something, but I doubt that'll happen. Unless a portal opens up and..... Oh. I'm getting off topic. Sorry, I get distracted by the word 'destiny', it's Neji's favorite word.. Oops, see I did it again- I stopped and bonked my head on the wall._

_CURSE-bonk-YOU-bonk-HOTTIE!-bonk. But I do love my Neji-kun so, he's awesome, and cool, and hot, and smart, and..... I've GOT to stop doing that. _

_I looked at Arceus. It seemed the god was zoned out. Um.... Arceus-sama?_

_He jolted up. **Oh.... what? Kind of.....**_

_I sighed. Do I have to repeat what I just said?_

_**No, I heard you.**_

_Well, then why were you in that zoned-out space?_

_**Force of habit. In any case, who is Neji?**_

_Oh, you wouldn't know, he's just...... awesome! His favorite word is destiny and his jutsu is sooooo powerful like gentle fist and eight trigrams 64 palms, eight trigrams empty palm and eight trigrams heavenly spin and..... I DID IT AGAIN! SEE WHAT I MEAN!_

_**Wow......** he didn't sound very intrested. **Fan girl?**_

_Yep._

_**Right....... Anyways, you have to be a legendary.**_

_I said I respectfully decline._

_**No, you have to be..... MEW!**_

_Mew came zooming in with an apple computer. It was set on youtube...._

_I stared onto the screen. When Neji's face came on I almost jumped for joy._

_Neji: It is your destiny!_

_Me: MY NEJI-KUN!_

_Neji's byakugan can see through trees but can he see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch? _

_Neji: Because they're destined to?_

_Kids: No! It's the delicious cinnamon swirls in every bite!_

_I was so busy in dreamland I didn't notice Arceus saying:_

_**Well, if you choose to be like that, then I have no choice.**_

_Once I had snapped out of it after getting hit by 10 hydro pumps from Suicune, a thunderbolt from Raikou, and a flamethrower from Entei, I was twirling around like some drunk person._

_NEJI!!!!!!!!!!! I cried. NEEEEEEEEEEEJJJJJJJJIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

Oh yeah......

Well, now that Cresselia was off my tail, now only Darkrai was left. That could definitely not be good, I knew he was going to be harder than Cresselia, but since I didn't know much about the pokemon himself I couldn't be sure if the same tactic would work on him.... As I fleed to, I don't know where, I just had to avoid the pokemon that had all turned against me, definitely Arceus' doing. It just made me want to yell 'DAMMIT ARCEUS!' up into the sky.

I heard a rustle behind me, and I stopped. It looked like I was apnting, but I was actually...

I sprung up into the treetops and started running on the branches. It was easier up here than on the ground, I had spent my life living in the trees anyways.

Still, more rustles. _Never giving up, eh?_ I thought. _Well....._

I jumped even more up, and now I was running _on top_ of the trees. The leaves brushed my legs, but to me they just felt like pillows when they were actually as tough and sharp as knives. This way, if someone wanted to follow me, they'd have to come on top, but I could see them. I thought I could hear someone chuckling below, and I looked behind me. A flock of angry Pidgeotto were coming straight for me!

"Yikes!" I cried, ducking and still running at the same time. "Nice birdies!"

I began humming 'Butterfly', dodging even more bird pokemon. When a Fearow with a ready peck attack came at me, I jumped up and went back down, kicking it on in the process. I smiled at how good I had gotten at this, but then frowned. I didn't like hurting pokemon, but this was nessecary. I smiled again.

"Only see the optimistic side..... hm......" I mumbled, thinking. I almost fell down when I slowed, but got back up quickly. I was beginning to get tired, which was not good, so I grinned and sped up. I could see a city up ahead. The people were fine, but their pokemon.... not so fine. Even the Nurse Joy's Chanseys weren't very happy to be around me.

Again, made me want to shout 'DAMMIT ARCEUS!' into the sky.

Once I had reached the city, I swiftly jumped down and dusted myself off. Some people were staring at me as I looked back. No tail. I sighed, but didn't let down my guard. Probably the only reason I was still here were my rules.

Rule #1: Never let your guard down.

I shook my head and ran to the nearest city sign. It said Hearthome city. I nodded and ran to the gym.


	2. Flashback time

Me: Hey Arceus! Someone called you a mutated pony that got stuck in a fancy fence!

Arceus: ........WHAT. DID. THEY. CALL ME?

Me: A mutated.... pony..... that got stuck....... in a fancy..... fence......

Arceus: .......... DIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! JUSTICE WILL BE DELIVERED!!!!!!!!!

__________________________________________________________________________________

Don't mess with Arceus.

Or he'll find you.

^_^ Time for some flashbacks. Yay! Third person, b.t.w.

_Horei could feel herself shrinking under Arceus' stare. _

"_Um.........' she mumbled. It seemed that 'um' was all she could say._

**When did you get here, young one?**_ Arceus asked. Horei put her hands up to her ears. Arceus' voice was extremely loud._

**Oh. Sorry.**_ Arceus lowered its voice a little. _**Is this better?**

_Horei nodded, slowly taking down the hands. "Ow. No offense meant, but, Arceus-sama, I think my ears are bleeding."_

_Arceus was silent for a bit._** No, they aren't. I checked. Now, you're here because you ran away, correct?**

"_Then ran here, got captured by the powers of Mewtwo, then got brought before the Creator of the universe. Oh, my luck." She was extremely heavy on the sarcastic tone._

**...... Normally, I would say, 'Look at the bright side', but if I were you, I would find it hard to find a bright side,**_ sighed Arceus. _

"_Yeah, now you know how I felt everyday of my life," mumbled Horei._

**Yes, but nonetheless, it was not a good excuse to sneak up on Mewtwo, and ESPECIALLY Mewtwo, because he will kick you all the way to Latios if he catches you.**

"_Hey, it was him you got all freaked out so much. And you'd expect that a tough Pokemon like that would at least have a dignified scream, but noooo, his sounded like a g-"_

**You're just getting yourself into deeper trouble. Mewtwo will kill, a) you, and b) anyone who hears you telling others about his scream. So don't. Are we clear with that? I don't need any more Mew-two induced deaths.**

_Horei silently gulped. "U-understood, Arceus-sama."_

**One more thing.**_ Horei looked up. _**Could you stop calling me 'sama'?**

_Horei shook her head. "It's built into my genes. Sorry, Arceus-sama."_

**........You didn't just say that to annoy me, did you?**

"_Um, no."_

"_Okay, now, I'm gonna...... um, what was that word again?" asked Horei. _

**This is gonna be a long day...**_ sighed Arceus. _**It's easy. Try and get that marble that's floating in the air.**

"_Um, Arceus-sama, that's a boulder."_

**It's a marble to me. Okay then, try and touch it.**

"_It's at least 15 meters in the air. I'm only 5'2''."_

**Oh, come on, at least try.**

_Horei sighed and backed up a fair distance. After taking a deep breath, she rushed at the boulder, then jumped, missing only by a few centimeters. She jumped down._

"_Oh, so close," she sighed. "Say, you are holding that up, right? It's not just floating there on its own accord, is it?"_

_Arceus appeared to grin. _**You'll find out when the time is right**_**. **Horei was always a bit uneasy of the giant floating rock in the Hall of Origin._

_~Three days later~_

"_Yes! Yes! See! I TOLD you I could do it within three days, but you didn't believe me! VICTORY!!!!!!!"_

_Arceus' ring was glowing a dull purple color, which signified 'annoyed'. But since Horei didn't know this, she kept on dancing, and singing, until Arceus held her in place with a psychic attack._

**I'm still not telliIng you,**_ said Arceus solemnly. _

"_Well, you've got to someday Arceus-sama, don't be a hoser," mumbled Horei. Lucky for Horei, Arecus didn't know what 'hoser' meant._

**You'll find out at.....**_ Arceus trailed off. _**Eh, Cresselia'll definitely tell you anyways, so I don't think I'll tell you at all....**

_Arceus started to drift away. Horei widened her eyes in shock. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!" She cried, chasing after Arceus, who was currently going at at least 30 mph. "AND IT'S SNOWING!!!!!"_

_Arceus just smiled evilly, _**Heh.... Catch up to me first.**

"_ARCEUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSS-SAMAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_

_~2 months later~_

**Horei. **

_Horei looked up. "Yes, Arceus- sama?" she asked. _

**Meet me at the end of the Hall of Origin ASAP. Come.**

_Horei nodded and went off, bidding a last farewell to the snow-Arceus she had just built,resisting the urge to go and try to bring it to life. _

"_Oh, god... ARCEUS-SAMA! THE HALL OF ORIGIN DOESN'T END, DOES IT?!" she cried, stopping. Arceus materialized out of a nearby wall. _

**Eh heh heh..... Good. Now, come on, all the legends are waiting,**_ said Arceus, floating down to the end of Spear Pillar. The legends were lined up on each side, with Giratina, Suicune, Rayquaza, and a few others standing in the middle, behind Arceus. _

"_What's this?" she asked hesitantly. "OH NO, KYOGRE FINALLY FOUND OUT THAT-" Even after 2 months, Horei still had to get attacked by multiple psychics so that she would shut up and listen. _

**Ahem, **_ Arceus cleared its voice and took a small book,_** We gather here today to bond in holy matri- oh, wait, right, wrong book,**_ Arceus threw it against the wall as another popped up, _**Okay, here we are, we gather here today to bond pet and human, nope, pokemon and human, nope, okay, here it is. We gather here today to welcome.... who scratched in Mew onto the new legends page?! Well, he needs to be re-made anyways, so who wants to take away his memories?**

_Mew shrunk back as Uxie floated forwards. _**I was just kidding. Sheesh. Now, step forward onto that plate, please.**

_Horei nervously stepped back, but as the psychics still had hold over her somewhat, she unwillingly stepped forward onto the plate that Dialga and Palkia liked to sleep on. _

**Okay now, hmm, I can't believe I forgot this.... Oh, okay, stand still. **_Despite Horei wanting to make like a Rapidash and get the heck off of there, the psychic hold was still too strong for her to break free._

_A strange sound seemed to come from the plate, and the legendaries at least allowed her to gasp at this. "What the--?"_

**Okay, now what do I do?..... K. **_ Arceus' ring glowed white, brilliantly white, with a slight golden tinge. Horei felt numb all over, and eventually all her senses failed, except vision and hearing, but everything else did. She could only hear Arceus' booming voice in her head, feel anything, and she didn't have anything in her mouth, but in any case. _

**Okay, then.....**

_As soon as the glow faded, Horei stumbled backwards and fell on her back. She looked up _

_and saw Mew smiling at her like a happy-go-lucky psychotic. _

"_OH GOD!" she cried. "Don't do that!" Mew just kept on smiling. 'Welcome to the club!' he cried. Celebi came over and smacked him on the head. 'MEW. YOU STUPID PINK BALL OF FUR. SHUT UP.' She turned to Horei. 'Sorry, Mew does that to everyone. Once, I turned the tables on him, though, when I found him reading my journal.'_

_'You mean your diary,' corrected Mew. He immediately started running as vines whipped out and starting aiming for Mew. It seemed like they wanted Mew's blood, or something like that, because they definitely showed no mercy when the poor pink fluffball got caught and was slammed into the floor multiple times rapidly, without hesitation, for about 5 minutes. Celebi was chuckling evily the whole time. Horei stood up and walked over to Arceus, who was currently watching the scene below with obvious delight, and touched Arceus lightly on the side. Arceus looked down, laughing. _

This is almost as good as TV,_ Arceus whispered in Horei's mind. Horei nodded._

"_But, um, what exactly did you just do?" she asked. Arceus rolled his eyes. _**Heh, I made you one of us. **

"_HOLY CRAP! YOU WHAT?!" she cried at the top of her lungs, attracting the attention of all the legends except Celebi, who continued to whack Mew ruthlessly._


	3. Psych!

If anyone has a PE2K account, please help kick Primal Dialga's butt and join the renegades in the RP The planet's Paralysis.

If not, just hate Primal Dialga, please.

Today I'm dressing up as a crazy red person. I am all dressed in red. I even sprayed some hairspray and made my hair red. Well, enjoy the rest of thi chap.

I didn't have any pokemon of course, except for my Absol, who amazingly, still liked me.

He was in good shape, and Dusk was always itching for a fight, so why not?

"Gym Leader Fantina, finally!" I cried. "WHY do gym leaders insist on making mazes?"

"Why, hello, new trainer," she said. She had a French accent.

"Hi," I said.

"So, you want a battle? I guess so, otherwise you wouldn't be here. I choose Dusknoir!" she cried, throwing a poke ball into the air. A somewhat evil-looking Dusknoir came out, and ever since I had an incident with one in Pokemon Mystery Dungeon 2.....

_REVENGE!!!!!!!_ I thought. "Dusk! Psycho cut! Not that I think you're a psycho but you know!"

Dusk nodded and cut Dusknoir, who disappeared. Fantina also disappeared.

I was silent."Hello? I think I either just repel gym leaders, or...."

A flash of light stopped my sentence.

"..... I was in a dream. Far more likely that I was in dreamland."

I smacked my head. "What an idiot," I mumbled. I was quiet for a bit. "Abra. Beldum. Carnivine. Dusknoir. Electrike. Fearow. Girafarig. Houndoom. Igglybuff. Jigglypuff. Kanghaskan. Lopunny. Magneton. Nosepass. Octillery. Pelipper. Quilfish. Remoraid. Skarmory. Torchic. Unown. Vaporeon. Wynaut. Yanma. Zubat. Alakazam. Barboach. Cacnea. Diglett. Elekid." I kept on going like this until I felt calm. Then I got to the legendaries.

"Arceus. Azelf. Celebi. Cresselia. Darkrai. Dialga. Entei. Ho-Oh. Kyogre. Latios. Latias. Moltres." I went on for a bit, then once I had reached Zapdos, I stopped and stood up.

"Okay. Now let's see......" I crouched down and drew a compass in the dirt. "No idea which way is north, but...." I turned around. "Who's there?"

_Hm. You're good._ The voice seemed to be coming from all around. _But..... can you find me now?_

I took that as a challenge. "Heck yeah!" I closed my right eye but kept my left open.

Rule #1: Never let your guard down.

My ears picked up noise from my left, but there was a trace of scent on my left. My eyes could see something in front of me, while I could feel something behind me.

Something in all corners.... I took a deep breath and non-focused my eyes. Now I was focusing on colors. It was all bright green.... except for a large patch of black on my right. I turned towards the patch.

Rule #2: Rely on color instincts! It will allow you time to get out of whatever mess you're in.

"You're there," I said firmly. The patch moved and another smaller patch shot towards me. I dodged it.

"That wasn't very nice!" I said. "It's rude to shoot things at women!"

Another patch. Another parry.

"I'm getting tired of this game!" I cried, closing both my eyes. It was easier this way. So many patches shot at me at once it was almost impossible to dodge, but luckily, I wasn't that slow.

"I- said- I- wanna- stop- PLAYING!" I cried. "Darkrai!"

_You know my name?_ He asked.

"Um, figured it out before I got here. Cresselia gave it away."

_How?_

I cleared my throat. "DARKRAI AND CRESSELIA SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-N-G, FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRIGE, THEN COMES-" I stopped.

Silence. I grinned, then dodged what appeared to be a large storm of those black patches.

"What did I say?" I asked. More black patches. "I wish _I_ could use eight trigrams 64 palms right now...." More patches.

"WHAT?!" I cried. "I only- yikes! Oh wait, see the positive side..... This is like Dance Dance Revolution!" I began humming 'Butterfly' again. It actually helped, the patches were being thrown at a rhythmic pace. It helped so much that I was able to open my eyes and still dodge when they stopped coming. I felt a bigger presence.

"Oh hi Arceus-sama!" I said cheerfully. "Oh wait, I meant..... Hi, Arceus-sama....." I said gloomily. "Oh right I'M NOT GONNA BE A LEGENDARY DANGIT!" I cried.

**Actually, I came to tell you that you don't have to be a legendary,** said Arceus solemnly.

"Really?" I was outlined in gold. "Hey!"

**No. Now come on.** I was thrown into a portal that had appeared out of nowhere and, just as I was about to close my eyes, I called, " ARCEUS-SAMA, YOU PSYCHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Then everything went black.

You know how people say 'Psych--!!' when they pull a joke on you? Yeah, this happened to me yesterday and I just had to inflict some poor soul in my fanfics with it. But I'm not evil, just after getting driven to the brink of madness by hearing the song of healing OVER and OVER and OVER, except in different versions, if you don't know what it is here's a Link.... heh heh heh..... pun intended...

Song of Healing (Different Versions)- youtube

Get it? Link? ...... Yes I suck at puns. P.S. Look for Link in the following chappies!


End file.
